based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
