What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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