I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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