i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
