so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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