Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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