theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
