ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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