I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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