Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
