i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize