I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
