Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize