i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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