so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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