You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
