ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
