the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
