Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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