I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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