Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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