Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize