a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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