If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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