how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
