Who wears a wallet chain?!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
