Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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