I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Even the bartender felt bad for me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
