Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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