I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
