theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
