he shaved USA in his pubs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
