Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
