My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
