new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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