I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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