this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
