dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize