Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
