if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
