worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
