i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
