More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
