I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
