we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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