He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
