Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize