Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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