There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize