i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You can't special order awesome
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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