Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
