oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
