I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
