Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
