she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
