Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
