I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
