Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
