when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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