She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
