you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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