I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
