we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
