Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
