I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
PANTIES FOUND
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
